Ephesians 5:21-24 says "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything" (KJV).
Please note the word Everything. It didn't say
- Somethings,
- Many things
- Most things
- Few things
But Everything. The above scriptures firstly has confirmed the word Manly figure which is the husband.
The Husband will always be the head of the home, as far as the church is concerned and also Christianity. Many married women today or ladies who are about to get married must know that the very first thing to win over your Husband or Husband to be (about to get married) is RESPECT.
It is the secret to a mans heart.
What is Respect?
I Samuel 25:23-31 says "When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground.
She fell at his feet and said: "Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.
Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his namehis name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent.
And now, my lord, as surely as the LORD your God lives and as you live, since the LORD has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal.
And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.
"Please forgive your servant's presumption. The LORD your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the LORD's battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live.
Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.
When the LORD has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel,
my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant." (NIV).
If you see the number of times Abigail called David my lord in this bible verse, you will be amazed. Abigail knew the importance of respect, even though David wasn't her husband yet.
And if you read towards the last verse of I Samuel 25:39-42 "When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, "Praise be to the LORD, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal's wrongdoing down on his own head." Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, "David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife. "She bowed down with her face to the ground and said, "I am your servant and am ready to serve you and wash the feet of my lord's servants. "Abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female servants, went with David's messengers and became his wife"(NIV).
Your respect shouldn't be based on what you think you are to gain from a man. And it shouldn't be based either if the man is your husband or not.
There is one fact you should know, a lady who can't respect a man when she isn't married yet can never respect her husband when she becomes married.
And for married couples, the woman has to first recognize that her husband is the head of the family no matter;
- Her status
- Whether she is wealthier than her husband
- If she earns more than her husband or
- If he's temporarily not in the best position to cater for the family currently.
If a married woman can't support her husband during his times of weaknesses and instabilties, then I don't see the reason why she was married to him in the first place.
Married women and Ladies out there that are on the path to marriage, don't forget your role in the beginning of creation.
Genesis 2:18 which says "And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helper meet for him" (KJV).
You're a helper to your husband and don't let your status or wealth deceive you. You are to assist him when the going becomes tough and not you taking his position as the head of the home.
Be like the good wife that Proverbs 31:10-31 talks about. Which says;
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate" (NIV).
But after doing these things and your husband still doesn't honor or recognize you, continue in the same way leaving him in the hands of God. For Luke 1:37 says "For with God nothing shall be impossible"(KJV).
Kindly check: "A-Z of Marriage by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo on youtube. Better still you can get the book, because the video is a brief summary of what is in the Book @
https://www.lovedatingandmarriage.org
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