The Three Route Before Marriage.
FRIENDSHIP
Friendship is the actual way a responsible relationship should begin. You don't expect to get married to your enemy someday! So friendship is a critical stage that we must all follow.
Although there are various forms of friendship, and the ability to know which one will lead to a successful relationship is key. And it is also important to note, that friendship doesn't just start once.
It is a gradual process and it requires input(the heart) from both parties involved.
If you agree with me, there are actually some friendship that are actually one sided.!
This is what we refer to as a parasitic friendship. Well let's get to the main point. The various forms of friendship;
1. Acquaintance
This type of friendship is common. I mean very common. These set of people, you will definitely have an encounter with them.
As a believer, an acquaintance could possibly be the persons God has brought your way to help you or the other way round. And that is you, being a source of help to that person.
Keep watch for such friends as you press forward in life.
2. Casual Friendship
They are closer than the acquaintance. This kind of friends, you tend to share a common interest like;
- The same football team.
- The same aspirations for the future.
- Love playing tennis on weekends together and so on.
This type of friendship is not driven by emotions per say. But more at an interest based level.
They just get to know who you are, encourage you in your time of weaknesses and support you.
Note they might not necessarily know all about you.
3. Close Friendship
This is more mutually connected than the casual friendship. These friends have grown to a mutual level, not only seeking their own interest but that of yours as well.
Not every friendship makes it to this level though. Why? Because this is a critical stage of friendship that can either make or mire the friendship.
If the friendship will progress to the next phase is determined by this phase.
Well in our society today, they basically most times don't get pass this stage. In fact they don't even get to this stage, because they feel they know the person too well.
This is the reason why a lady can have sex with a guy or even a colleague she barely knows. Sometimes it can be up to a month at most. But most times it doesn't even get to two weeks.
The stronger you grow closer to a close friend, the more that friend becomes a part of your goal. He/she becomes a friend that is closer than a brother according to Proverbs 18:24 "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly. And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (KJV).
You both push yourselves beyond your limits, and try new things to ensure that you both achieve your purpose and targets.
4. Intimate Friendship
This is the highest level of friendship, and this is what leads to a relationship.
Intimate friends share the same vision, goals, and are always walking in the same direction. This is what will guarantee how the relationship will look like.
If you are a believer of Christ, then it is advisable to have an intimate friend with a believer too. Why, because the goals are the same (which is achieving the Kingdom of God).
It is going to be very difficult to be in an intimate friendship with an unbeliever. Even the bible says so in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (KJV).
It is not going to be easy, because the beliefs and the systems of operating are going to be two different entities. There is nothing like she is an unbeliever, but I can turn her into a believer. Most times the reverse is the case. The lady might eventually end up turning you (the guy) into an unbeliever, giving room for Satan to operate. On a rare occasion is this possible to turn an unbeliever (lady or a guy) to a believer.
I Corinthians 7:12-14 "To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her. And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.
Please be guided as a believer. Guide your faith jealousy.
DATING
After successfully passing through the various levels of friendship, and you still find a need for that person to be in your life then DATING is that next level.
But also note that most friendships hardly gets to this dating phase, following the due process of friendship levels.
They just jump from the acquaintance level straight to the intimate and then dating level. We call those kind of persons forwarding machines.
As a believer it might feel awkward for not having any friends that could make it to this level of dating. Well it shouldn't be, as long as you're following the God ordained standards. Check the previous write up at the link below...
Don't ever settle for less, by lowering your standards, because you are badly looking for a date.
Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the thought I think toward you, saith the LORD, thought of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end" (KJV).
God is speaking to you and I here. God has everything all planned out for you... okay!...
See what happens if you settle for less.
The funny question becomes??
What then happens when that person, God was preparing you for, finally comes and then you're already stocked up with another frustrating fellow, all in the name of looking for a date?
Also note that dating a believer should be a top priority, if you are. Your dating someone or you dating a person should be spiritual, before any other thing can come in. Like the (soul and body).
This is where our generation of today is missing it. They are first attracted to the body before even thinking of any other aspect.
Here is a link on what we titled "what is love" to get the full gist...
Dating as a believer should be focused on the spiritual things. And if this is already in line, trust me every other thing will fall in place.
ENGAGEMENT
This is like a short phase into marriage. It is meant for a temporary period of time.
In the engagement phase, you have both decided to spend the rest of your lives together. There isn't much work at this phase anymore, if you have followed the due processes stated above.
All you need do, is to plan for the big day (the wedding and the marriage), because all the bonding and getting to know each other better should have been done and dusted while you were still dating. That is what dating is meant for.
Engagement is not a time to be testing if the relationship is still going to work out!!. You should have known that long before now.
At engagement phase, you should be sure of;
- What you are doing,
- The decisions you are making.
Sometimes you here an engaged couple say
"We are still trying to see if it will work out"
This is funny, because during this phase you are not supposed to be testing, but looking forward to tying the knot.
But don't get me wrong, because there are also times when an engagement could still fall apart.
It almost happend between Joesph and Mary (the parents of our LORD Jesus Christ).
See Matthew 1:18-19 "This was how the birth of Jesus Christ took place. His mother Mary was engaged to Joesph, but before they were married, she found out that she was going to have a baby by the Holy Spirit. Joseph was a man who always did what was right, but he did not want to disgrace Mary publicly; so he made plans to break the engagement privately" (Good News Bible).
If you read down the verse, you will see it was the Angel of the LORD God, that stopped the above verse from happening.
So back to the topic, Yes Joseph was "engaged" to Mary. If you use the King James Version Bible it says "espoused", Amplified Bible uses "promised in marriage" and the New International Version uses "pledged to be married to Joseph".
They all mean the same thing. But I used the Good News Bible for better understanding.
Engagement is not yet the MARRIAGE!
Please be prudent in your dealings according to Proverbs 27:12 "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished" (KJV).
For better information kindly check this book by Dr Myles Munroe;
(Waiting and Dating) A sensible guide to a fulfilling love Relationship
Comments
Post a Comment