Has Divorce Ever Solved A Problem?

 Divorce is not always the best way out.

Most often, when you find couples in a misunderstanding which most times leads to conflict if not properly handled, they feel the best option is divorce, and this is very common in the western society. 

And you'll imagine, weren't these two persons the ones who couldn't stay a day without seeing each other. And suddenly they broke up (divorce).

What really went wrong?

Or did they run out of love?

Or did the love just disappear?

These are questions we'll never get real answers to. And you find questions like this very common, among couples who have spent ten - fifteen years in marriage. It's surprising and shocking to see such a thing happen.

But the bottom line is, the actual cause of divorce is neither this partner nor the other partner, but both partners.

Divorce is two couples in conflict who have refuse to overlook each other's mistakes due to self-pride.

The man won't want to act as the man, by loving his wife unconditionally according to Ephesians 5:28, and the woman won't want to act as a woman too, according to the same book of Ephesians of the same chapter. 

Divorce from another angle, can be seen as a man who is supposed to be the head of the family acting like the woman. 

And the woman who is supposed to be submissive to her husband is acting like the head of the family.

So there is a switch in responsibilities assigned to them by God. Most times women, always want to be correct. They want to have their way, but as the man you are, knowing their nature as women, it is your responsibility to act as the matured adult by overlooking little mistakes and errors.

This is why the man is the head of the family, just as Christ is the head of the Church  in Ephesians 5:23. God Almighty gave this responsibility to the man, because he (God) believes you (the man) can handle the job. If not he could have given the woman the responsibility instead.

Come to think of it women, apart from providing money for the family and ensuring the family is well catered for, though it isn't easy, but what other work do men do in the family? Though there could be more I'm missing. But on the contrary, the women;

1. Cooks,
2. Cleans the house,
3. Take care of the family, 
4. Carries the foetus in her womb for nine months,
5. Ensure the family lacks nothing,
6. Helps the children out in areas of assignments (though this can be done by both the man and woman).

Please I'm not trying to discriminate anybody here. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. That is the area we are emphasising here. 

But base on the above outlines, to be honest if God was a man, who would you think he will give the responsibility of being the head of the family?

But in aspect of all these, God still gave the man the responsibility to be the head of the Family. This is why God is not a man and he can never be a man, for his ways are not our ways and his thoughts not our thoughts in Isaiah 55:8

And then you'll see a man who can't forgive or overlook the mistake of his wife. Then there is a big problem with that man. Yes, we know there are certain things that hurts so much, and it's even more hurtful when it comes from the person you love (your wife in this case). But be the man God made you to be, by forgiving.

Our first question to be dealt with will be,

WHAT MAKES A MARRIAGE TO FAIL, AND THEN RESULTING IN DIVORCE?

Well, in our previous post, we talked about something on this issue. But we'll repeat it again.

LOVE IS NOT WHAT MAKES A MARRIAGE SUCCESSFUL. 

Love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage through the test of time. But COMPATIBILITY AND UNDERSTANDING WILL.

Compatibility comes when you both were still dating. You were supposed to know if you were both compatible long before entering into the marriage.

Understanding is the main subject matter, since we are evaluating divorce, which affect marriages.

Note in understanding comes;

• Forgiveness,
• Care,
• Patience and even the
• Love.

Understanding is what a marriage needs to be successful, accompanied with other vital things. Though we aren't going to be discussing that today.

There is no two ways about it.

If there are understandings in marriages, then there would have been less rate of divorce. Knowing this, there are other reasons that causes divorce aside misunderstanding. But it is not our topic of discussion. 

So be very sure you understand that young man or young lady, before saying YES I DO.