Watch And Pray

 Mark 14:38 says "Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak" (KJV).

So many marriages today, are on the verge of breaking apart, while others are already apart. And sometimes I'll ask myself,

"How did they meet each other?"

"After fifteen years of marriage, why the divorce?"

Then I realized, marriage and dating are two different things. The dating experience is quite opposite of what you'll encounter in the marriage. 

Some things will change as you enter the marriage. In fact a lot of things will change.

You'll often hear couples who are arguing say,

"He wasn't like this when we were dating"

"She wasn't like this when I first met him".

Here is the fact, during dating you were both wooing each other. You were both trying to be the best version of yourselves or appear good, to please each other. 

This is one reason why it is best you know the girl as a friend first, before dating her.

Here is a link to the article on Marry your friend.

https://itzlovemeleaveme.blogspot.com/2020/08/marry-your-friend.html

So as you are watching and observing, also make sure you are backing it up with prayers.

You know the major problem of crisis in marriages today is not that, both couples don't love themselves. They do, but they lack understanding. 

Love is not the main criteria that guarantees a successful marriage, it is understanding. Which is why you will often hear our seniors (who are already in marriage) say look before you leap.

Marriage is a life time covenant, and you can't afford to make the wrong decision as regards your life partner. Many homes have been shattered today, just because of wrong foundation. The children are made to suffer the sins of the parents, which they know nothing about.

We are not trying to say that all marriages are perfect. No, in fact there is no marriage that is perfect. But the bottom line is, can you tolerate and accommodate the flaws?

"Your fiance is always curious about everything. Can you tolerate that?"

"Your fiance is so proud that he can't admit his own mistake. Can you tolerate that?

"Your fiance, is always boastful. Yet he has no courage in him. Can you accommodate that?"

"Your fiance has a pattern of arranging things, that is quite different from yours. Can you accommodate that?"

So these are the things to watch out for. The good side and the bad side. The ones you can tolerate or accommodate and the ones you can't tolerate or accommodate. And if peradventure, the ones you can't accommodate far exceeds the ones you can, then there is a high possibility that the relationship isn't going to work. 

It is advisable you change the course of your direction immediately, before you get married.

And as regards the issue of the things experienced in dating, and why it is different from marriage. Well it is clear.

Dating is not the marriage. And it will never be.

Dating is just a stage through the real deal (marriage). During dating, you both were just an Immature young man and woman. But in marriage, you are now Mr. and Mrs.

Responsibilities is the major thing that occupies your lives. This is why marriage is not for Immature persons.

But your ability to adapt to the changes is what qualifies you as a mature married man. A lot of changes will come, but like we earlier started, UNDERSTANDING is a very important key in the marriage. Do not ever forget.

It is only with understanding that you can adapt with your fiance (if you're not yet married) or spouse (if you're married) changes. 

And make sure you let your fiance or spouse know of the changes you've noticed. If it is the one that needs changing, or if it is the one that needs your adjustment. All you need is still understanding. 

But in all, whatever decision you make or before making a decision, make sure you are very watchful and never forget to back it up with prayers according to Mark 14:38 above.

Do not let your feelings or desires get the best out of you, concerning decisions as crucial as marriage. Marriage is not a try and error, where you just jump in and jump out. No, it is for life as a believer.