Comparisons In Relationships.

 This is one major problem in most relationships today. Comparison is like the Cankerworm of a relationship (gives room for unfaithfulness). As much as we would like to deal with this topic completely, it will be of little value if we don't define the word "comparison".

What is Comparison?

Simply put, looking at things (characters, values, behaviours, outward appearance) to see how they are similar or different.

Comparisons are most times based on the aforementioned things above (characters, values.......) human wise.

We've described how bad a comparison can be especially in a relationship to the extent of using a Cankerworm to denote how awful and bad it is. The picture above with the two cars kind of explains how awful it can be to compare. Most times you see the ugly sides more than the beautiful aspect, forgetting that the ugly framework is what births a beautiful framework. Same it is with human character and values. Instead of comparing, while don't you groom and correct with love to create a finished perfection in your woman.

Let's begin with our points. First don't ever compare the lady you're currently in a relationship with, to another lady or woman.

This can cause a lot of trouble than you least expected. (#serious gbege........).

The very problem of comparison comes most times from a man who isn't finding his woman or lady interesting anymore. We aren't saying the ladies aren't also involved. They are, but majority comes from the guys. 

A guy who has dated a girl for 3-4 years and then suddenly he realizes that this girl has knock knees, or this girl isn't as beautiful as he imagined her to be, or this girl isn't as endowed (# figure 8) as he thought of her to be, or he just suddenly started losing his affection for this lady". How come after years of dating!

Though there are factors (based on certain reasons or without a reason) which could be responsible for this. Well what we're saying in essence is, the men are not always at fault the whole time.

Ladies check out yourself too. It could also be you're the cause of the comparisons. This leads us to the second point; comparisons can be as a result of the guys selfish interest (without a concrete reason), or from you as the lady (reason based).

Let's buttress how it comes from you as the lady...

# The reason based.

Okay, let's say perhaps when he first met you, you were probably weighing 56kg or 123.459 pounds, and suddenly when he marries you or after some years of dating, he suddenly discovers you're weighing almost a 100kg (220.462 pounds) or even more as a lady. Yes if he eventually marries, we know pregnancy, child bearing and all that will certainly make you add more weight. But another question should be, is this guy happy about this?

A 100kg is far too much, except if you're naturally plump. Though it can still be controlled so it still doesn't get out of hand. 

Prior to the above (weighing from 56kg to about 100kg) you reason it yourself as a lady. And at the end of it all you end up saying he's not finding you attractive anymore, he doesn't pay attention to you. You're still single (he hasn't married you) yet and you're already adding weight like this. What if he marries you, what then happens? He's definitely going to compare you with other ladies out there, even with those who are married with children and yet still have a nice body shape (if you're married with children).

He can't find you attractive, and if he's the kind of guy that isn't faithful, he might as well go and cheat on you, and come back to you and give excuses that he can't continue the relationship, (because he has seen someone more palatable than you). Though he would hardly say this out loud.

Though we aren't advising him cheating. That's a no no no........

Cheating isn't going to solve the problem, but effective communication will. The guy should sit his lady down and let her know what's happening. If she's willing to make amends, then it's no issue.

At least you didn't aren't in a relationship with someone who is as deaf as a post. But for those who their wives or girlfriends won't listen, well you should have known the kind of person you are bringing into your space (life) before ever starting the relationship at all.

All we can say is keep on trying. One day she will definitely come back to her senses. But if she doesn't, as long as you're not married to her yet you can still make a U-turn. But if you're married, then you have to live with it for the rest of your life. We aren't aiding divorce here.

In fact come to think of it, a woman who truly loves her man will do almost anything to make him happy. That's a tip for the guys or men, but please don't misuse it. (#you didn't hear it from me).

# Comparison with no cause!

All this while, we've been talking about comparisons that comes from reasons best known to the man or woman. It can be both. Though there are more, but we explained only one (the weight), this was just for the simplicity of this post, so it doesn't becomes too bulky and tiresome to read.

Comparison with no cause (reasons), the guy/man just likes comparing his wife/girlfriend with every other lady he sees for no reason. This is a very serious one.

This could mean only one thing, and it could also tell one thing. Meaning his love was based on something he saw in the lady (money, beauty, complexion etc.), and it tells that he won't remain faithful to the end in the relationship or marriage.

Just imagine a man telling his girl "Oh you don't put on makeup" start using one. Okay this is not a problem. The next day he says "the makeup you put on is too much, try lowering the texture" and the next day again he's like "you don't even know how to use a makeup".

This is problematic, hectic and frustrating. Did you know why she didn't use a makeup in the first place? Did you ask her why she didn't use a makeup? Absolutely no. Men sometimes can be erratic, this doesn't mean you ladies are left out too. (una own dey una body).

All we're saying in conclusion is, comparisons with no based reason could mean several things.

• The guy is getting tired of the relationship, 
• There wasn't a genuine love in the first place,
• The guy seems to be probably interested in another lady, which he can't tell you directly, or
• It could probably mean he's just picking on you for fun.

The fourth point isn't a bad idea, it only becomes one when it is abused.

So that's all we have for you today. Feel free to comment below.