Deliberate And Casual Mistakes.

 It's valentine's day, so happy valentine to all successful couples out there. If yours isn't successful, then it's an opportunity to make it successful.

Romans 6:1-2 says "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that the grace may abound?

Verse 2: God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

First fact is, you cannot continue to deliberately make the same mistake over and over again and expect the grace to continue. 

We have the ability to be able to differentiate between what's wrong and what's right, as this was in compliance with the fruit Adam and Eve ate in the Garden of Eden, Genesis 3:22 "And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil. . . . . . " (KJV).

From that time, we humans always had and will always have the opportunity to choose between good and bad. Choosing to do the wrong things even when we know is the wrong thing becomes a deliberate mistake.

Now let's digress to the marriage and relationship aspect. Yes, there are times in marriage or a relationship or even in courtship whereby mistakes are definitely bound to happen.

In fact you'll step on each other's toes, but that's not the problem. The problem becomes "how do you deal with the problem"?. We are humans and we are bound to make mistakes, we are bound to err against each other and marriage is not exempted.

Do not think for once in marriage it's going to be anything different, because how you started your relationship is going to be the foundation for your marriage. Marriage is a continuation of the relationship but in a more holy way because it has be witnessed by God at his altar.

So don't feel marriage is going to change a persons personality completely, if the person couldn't change while you were in courtship or even as friends then its nearly is impossible for that person to change. 

Being married only changes your status from single to married. Though you'll definitely discover some new changes in the marriage, which could be positive or negative. But nevertheless, you should have be ready for this eventualities.

Now tackling Casual mistake in marriage or courtship or relationship can be much easier. Casual in a way that "it wasn't done on purpose, it wasn't done deliberately to hurt you or your feelings".

Take an example;

You made an honest mistake as a lady, and your partner teases you with it and this could possibly get you irritated. 

Well for the married couples, it shouldn't be a big deal because obviously they should have understood each other by now. But for those still in courtship or in a relationship, you're still getting to know this person.

Now on the part of this guy, the way you (as a lady) might have taken the situation to be might have been quite different from what he took it to be. For him it might be just having fun with his partner, and to you as his lady, its otherwise (understanding  becomes very vital here).

Guys can be goofy and all that sometimes, but its an honest mistake (casual mistake). He didn't deliberately do it to hurt you. Remember you're still getting to know each other.

Now the solution is, you carefully correct him, let him know such things hurt your feelings. We're just saying such things not because it is a usual thing. Absolutely not, because some ladies also like to goof around too, so they won't see it as a big deal, but it isn't the same for all ladies.

It's just an illustration (the ladies can also be at fault too). Now back to the illustration again. If he tries such thing again after correcting him, it then becomes a deliberate mistake. We didn't mention how many times he can repeat the same mistake over and over again, but all that is stated is, if he doesn't change after correction, then he's adamant.

But nevertheless, casual mistake or deliberate mistake are you going to sacrifice the happiness of your home over mistakes

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 "Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs (Good News Bible).

From the above Scriptures we don't see how you can love someone and not let go of the wrong done to you, no matter how hurtful it may be.

Take note of the part in that Scripture that talks about "love does not keep record of wrongs". This wasn't me talking, or you talking, but directly from our Heavenly Father.

Yes you might come up with excuses like OG (a.k.a the short form of my name), "You don't know what she did to me" and then we ask "What did you both do to each other?

Matthew 18:21-22 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?"

"No, not seven times, *answered Jesus, "but seventy times seven" (Good News Bible).

You're saying she wronged me, he wronged me, I can't forgive him, I can't forgive her, do you know how many times your Heavenly Father forgives you?

You think it's just to get on your knees and ask Heavenly Father please forgive me my sins? Our Heavenly Father also has feelings, so it pains him when he sees us his children doing the wrong things. Remember we were made from his image and likeness, Genesis 1:26-27, so he feels grief and hurt seeing how we misbehave, just the same way we feel grief when someone hurts us, when your spouse hurt you.

Hope you haven't forgotten the verse Matthew 6:12 which says "And forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us"? (Good News Bible). 

It is not just mere words, but powerful words that should be put into useful practice.

It is important to know that our faith is being tested every day from the words we proclaim from our mouth. Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power if the tongue. . . . . " (KJV). That's where being a hearer and a doer of the word (application) becomes vital.

"SO THEN FAITH COMETH BY HEARING, AND HEARING BY THE WORD OF GOD". Romans 10:17 (KJV).