The Initiating Factor.

 In every relationship, whether you like it or not, there must always be a driving force for it to work, and this depends on what is your driving force.

But whatever it may be, please make sure it isn't something superficial, something without true value and essence.

To initiate from our perspective of discussion today means to start or begin. And there are requirements to start a responsible relationship. Now every relationship started from a friendship, or should have started from a friendship, and every marriage is a product of a relationship that grew from friendship. 

It is a sequence, a normal sequence at that. You don't just get married out of the blue, neither do you enter a relationship with no intention of commitment.

But our big question is, from the time of the relationship to the period of engagement what actually happened within these intervals? What was learnt between these phases?

Now remember it grew from friendship to a relationship because you both wanted it to (the guy and the lady). You wanted to grow more intimate together and that led to the relationship phase, at this point you were both the initiator.

From the stage of the relationship to engagement, what was the Initiating factor or who was the initiator? Don't think too far, you're still the initiator. You both were the ones taking the friendship through these various stages. Remember, its starting from friendship.

Man is the Initiating factor of every friendship leading to a relationship, which in turn leads to dating, engagement and finally marriage. It doesn't end there either. You will both still initiate in the marriage. Remember you both are the ones making the friendship into a marriage, marriage on it's own makes no sense without two compatible persons.

Let's clarify something here, man being an Initiating factor might seem so vague, but let's make it more real. Nurturing and personal effort. (that is man as the Initiating factor).

It is from nurturing and personal effort you get the different levels of intimacy a friendship can bring.

Nurturing alone cannot exist without personal effort. You can't claim to love me when you don't show it, no matter how little in a way it may be.

Friendship cannot stand alone without man. So nurturing is like the friendship and man the personal effort.

This two (nurturing and personal effort) go hand in hand, just like man and friendship. Nurturing and personal effort has to be present in every genuine friendship, relationship and even in marriage.

It is from nurturing you get the desired results, and from personal effort you impact a life. 

Even when the friendship do not turn out to be the way you expected it to be, it is not a wasted personal effort, because an impact was made in a persons life. This is what every life should encompass and not towards the relationship aspect alone. What this means is, it's not when you are in a relationship you start acting as a good person, or when you're looking for love, you start acting nice. This is a wrong approach.

Here is a recent post of ours on "Not every friendship is met to stay". . . .

https://itzlovemeleaveme.blogspot.com/2021/01/not-every-friend-is-met-to-stay.html

It's just like not every friendship is meant for you, but does that make you a failed friend? Absolutely NO!

In your process of encountering failed relationships, you learn to become more independent and less dependent, you learn to heal faster from heart breaks (as you commonly call it).

Believe it when we say, for every successful marriages out there, the vast majority of married couples today didn't have the belief they'll one day end up with the man or woman they got married to.

They all had their own share of heart breaks, series of disappointments along the journey, but that didn't make them quit. 

It is from a mire, you find a diamond.

I mean you basically learn everyday, and in this process of agony, bitterness (nurturing) you become nurtured (nourished, fully grown) while nurturing (still growing). Remember growing (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically) has no end, until death actually comes. 

It is important to note that in your process of nurturing a person you become nurtured yourself (consciously or subconsciously).

The bottom line is without you nurturing you can never be nurtured (fully grown). Remember your personal effort isn't left out of it. This is what makes the Initiating factor.

Galatians 6:7 ". . . . Whatsoever a man soweth, shall he also reap".

Thank you for your time!