Firstly we will like to show our appreciation to our viewers for their time, patience and also for tolerating our recent lateness to uploading fresh posts as usual.
So let's begin, Honestly speaking there are persons who can't marry or nonetheless having the thought of starting a responsible relationship that will lead to marriage.
It is not a curse, it is simply their approach to life.
This lies in the fact that:
1. They just don't see the need to be involved in any serious relationship (commitment) or
2. They probably have been using the wrong approach for the right course. Let's explain this better, planning for marriage is a right course at a certain stage in everyone's life, but what happens when the wrong approach is taken? Even if peradventure you get married, that marriage will have a high probability of not lasting. Now we didn't say it will never last, but the probability of it (the marriage) not lasting is on a very high side.
You can marry wrongly (using the wrong approach) and in the course (journey) of the marriage, you change a wrong marriage into a right marriage through Christ Jesus.
Now most persons who find it difficult to settle down all have one particular thing in common their perspective.
When you ask them questions like why aren't you settling down, why aren't you married yet, you hear them say;
- He's not that. . . .
- She's not this . . . .
- He's not man enough,
- She's not motherly enough,
- She's not beautiful enough,
- He's not financially buoyant enough
- Hopefully very soon!.
And all of such are just mere statements and stories, which in actual sense makes sense. Yes the fact you're not looking at the outward appearance alone doesn't mean you should marry a monkey or a chimpanzee, nonetheless every woman is beautiful in the eyes of her beholder (husband) and same it is with a wife too. But there is a clear line between hypocrisy and reality.
"All endowments or perfection cannot be and can never be found in a single person". Oghosasere Osatohanmwen
Whether you like it or not, there will be some levels of weaknesses, some levels of imperfections. It is absolutely normal.
Sometimes we often ask this question?
You that always say I can't marry him because he's this or that or because she's this or that, if you were somebody else will you marry yourself, knowing fully well your flaws and weaknesses?
Well we don't think so. So the idea of saying this or that are excuses and lame ideas.
Now let's discuss the Myopic aspect, because all the above was just a brief initiation into the main idea here.
Take for example, "a child growing up with the mindset that marriage is a bondage, because his/her parent has failed to inculcate the right discipline every marriage should have". You won't possibly blame this person, especially if you find yourself in a relationship with this person. Commitment will be a "no-no" why, because of the childhood foundation.
Let's take another example, "a female child who grew up with her mother in the absence of her father would most likely grow up with the mindset that she is the man, she runs things at her command and desire.
But we ask this question, is this healthy for a successful relationship? Most likely any man getting married to such a lady in particular will most times tend to wrestle with her as to who is the head of the family. Such a lady will certainly not need a man in her life either (relationship wise).
Remember this is no fault of theirs, especially viewing the foundation from how this whole mess begun.
Now if you can recall a popular Philosopher called John Locke, in one of his quotes on "man as a tabula raza".
Man as a clean slate. So whatever you feed it, it reproduces the same result.
And so what do we do with such individuals?
It will be very important to change their ideologies, belief system and faulty backgrounds.
First of all, introduce such persons to God. Only God can actually straighten a faulty background, though human effort can, but it's still backed up by the Ominscient God.
Secondly you have to be a good friend to such persons. Let that person see a different positive view point of life through your attitude.
You cannot claim to love, when you don't practice the act of loving someone. Oghosasere Osatohanmwen.
In contrary to this still, some persons might still refuse to change. They shut all doors to actually seeing a better version of what life has in store for them.
In this aspect you leave them to their fate, and still wish them the best of luck.
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