Why Opposite attracts!
Opposites attract if you're dealing with magnets.
On TV, we watched the beautiful Belle fall in love with the Beast. How some episodes in Barbie, she falls in love with an arrogant Prince, and the long run, her enchanting character rubs in on the Prince and he changes his rude character. We surged as the impoverished and inexperienced Cinderella was swept off her feet by the rich and titled prince. Bella and Edward (Twilight)...television is filled with portrayals of people who are opposite to each other. Or we may have a friend, a shy, retiring sort, who is attracted to an outgoing and friendly person. It seems to make sense that they’d be a good match.But the question is?
Why do opposites attract-if they attract at all?
Opposites may attract at first because the other person seems new and exciting.
Although over 80% of people believe opposites attract, it's not necessarily true. It's not 'opposites' that draw us to our romantic partners but certain personality traits, similarities, and even biological cues.
Although over 80% of people believe opposites attract, it's not necessarily true. It's not 'opposites' that draw us to our romantic partners but certain personality traits, similarities, and even biological cues.
What these further means is, even though opposites do attract, it doesn't mean there are no similarities. If we were 90% opposites, then there is no relationship. There have to be certain key things we share in common(similarities) that brings us together. For some persons
1. Religion
2. Faith
3. Values and so on.
Based on his research findings, Winch asserted that to make a marriage work, aspects of one's personality, especially socially related traits like aggressiveness and assertiveness, should complement each other. For example, a very outgoing husband would be content with a more introverted wife. Winch's research suggested that it's not that opposites attract, but complementary traits.
It's like the key and lock theory by the German Chemist Emil Fischer in 1899. The key has to be complementary to the lock for it to fit.
As psychologist Dr LeslieBeth Wish puts it, the formula for a healthy/happy couple is "common values and ethics."
Good Girls And Bad Boys
The common idea that good guys end up dating bad girls or bad boys end up dating good girls is a widespread phenomenon
The common idea that good guys end up dating bad girls or bad boys end up dating good girls is a widespread phenomenon
Even if we accept the researchers' conclusions that opposites don't attract as fact, you may be wondering how all the good girl/bad boy couples in the world fit into the mix. We all know at least one boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, that seem to be opposites. And what about those who date people that are wrong for them, over and over again?
These types of relationships are different from the ones that happen organically. Sometimes, people who are seeking relationships have formed trauma bonds, which affects the way one approaches relationships. These people may struggle with self-esteem, confidence, and healthy relationship boundaries.
Scientific data means nothing if we can't connect it to our lives. So, if opposites don't attract after all, what does that mean for us?
The takeaway isn't about what attracts us to our partners but what will help us build the best possible futures. If you find yourself attracted to like-minded people with similar qualities at their core, you're probably on the right track.
Pros and Cons of Dating Your Opposite
Let's take a look at some of the pros and cons of dating someone who is your opposite.
Pros
1. You may learn to compromise
2. You can learn how to be more patient and empathetic
3. There may be greater opportunity to learn new things
4. The excitement may be more intense
Cons
These types of relationships are different from the ones that happen organically. Sometimes, people who are seeking relationships have formed trauma bonds, which affects the way one approaches relationships. These people may struggle with self-esteem, confidence, and healthy relationship boundaries.
Scientific data means nothing if we can't connect it to our lives. So, if opposites don't attract after all, what does that mean for us?
The takeaway isn't about what attracts us to our partners but what will help us build the best possible futures. If you find yourself attracted to like-minded people with similar qualities at their core, you're probably on the right track.
Pros and Cons of Dating Your Opposite
Let's take a look at some of the pros and cons of dating someone who is your opposite.
Pros
1. You may learn to compromise
2. You can learn how to be more patient and empathetic
3. There may be greater opportunity to learn new things
4. The excitement may be more intense
Cons
1. Might not be sustainable long term if excitement wears off
2. More potential for disagreements
3. Requires better and more frequent communication
4. You may find you both have widely differing lifestyles and goals
Other ways you may benefit from being with your opposite include:
Their strengths complement your weaknesses and vice versa
You’ll get more comfortable with compromise
You’ll teach each other new things
You’ll stretch your understanding and empathy muscles
You’ll keep the passion alive more easily
You’ll find more balance
You’ll increase your tolerance level
You’ll gain more patience
2. More potential for disagreements
3. Requires better and more frequent communication
4. You may find you both have widely differing lifestyles and goals
Other ways you may benefit from being with your opposite include:
Their strengths complement your weaknesses and vice versa
You’ll get more comfortable with compromise
You’ll teach each other new things
You’ll stretch your understanding and empathy muscles
You’ll keep the passion alive more easily
You’ll find more balance
You’ll increase your tolerance level
You’ll gain more patience
The Cons of Dating Your Opposite
The drawbacks of opposites uniting date back to early research. In one study, timid, verbally inhibited participants were paired with critical, assertive partners. The study showed that although they might have been attracted at first, the quality of the relationship suffered as the relationship matured over time. The pairings became unsustainable.
The drawbacks of opposites uniting date back to early research. In one study, timid, verbally inhibited participants were paired with critical, assertive partners. The study showed that although they might have been attracted at first, the quality of the relationship suffered as the relationship matured over time. The pairings became unsustainable.
In overview, it's not just opposite that attracts, but " complementary-opposites"_ Oghosasere Osatohanmwen
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